I think it's time I told my story.

It's like a template dream for every Cedar Jumper to get into RJ, b/c of our coach, our seniors etc etc. At least that's how I see it. And that's how I feel. I had always dreamed of going into RJ when I hear amazing stories about it from my coach and Jumps seniors. & after training at the campus a couple of times, I fell in love with it. Plus, it's the top institution in Singapore. Not much to hate, is there?

I spent over a year working hard and setting my goals towards RJ. I had no back up plans. About a year ago if you asked me which JC I wanted to go to, I'll say "RJ." "...and?" "Only RJ." I wanted to do whatever it takes to get in there. In Feb 2010, I had a knee injury which denied me from competing in Nationals. That was a real big blow to me b/c it foiled alot of opportunities for me such as a medal, recognition, scholarships, edusave and most importantly, my DSA into RJ. I mean, why would they accept someone who's capabilities they do not know of? I got rejected and it still bums me till today.

My seniors and friends advised me to try sports appealing into RJ. However, they said in order to make my appeal more solid, I need to get a single digit raw score for them to take me in. I knew that 6 points was impossible for me, b/c even I knew my limits. All I aimed for was a single digit. Not even the best single digit. Just a single digit. My room is like a closet shrine for RJ. I wake up every morning to see RJ's school motto and crest pasted on my wall and just like how propaganda works, it kind of got induced in me. Live, breathe, think RJ.

All my friends, especially those who got worse than me for O's, don't understand why I was so upset with my results when it's actually not that bad. You tell me, when the faith, belief and hard work that I've put in for more than a year doesn't reflect in my results, how can you expect me not to be? It's not about the results. It's about everything that leads up to it. And at the end of it, I'm only so close to achieving it yet so far. I was really v depressed as I didn't think of a back up plan and I felt pretty lost when I realized that the only plan I had backfired.

& the worst part of it, my friends might even think I'm selfish cause I didn't spare a thought for them when they're disappointed & depressed as well and they think I'm just being arrogant b/c they got worse than me. I'm sorry but the first time I got denied of living my dream, it took me about 6 months before I got over it. And now that it happened AGAIN, even now as I'm typing this, I have no idea how long it'll take me before I'll actually snap out of it.

Everyone has their own stories to tell. And this is mine.